Thursday, 13 December 2007

River Island brings their A game!

Just as I was beginning to fear that, in some perculiar twist of fate, highstreet buyers had decided not to pick any dresses for my bodyshape this year, I stumbled into River Island. I am actually a massive River Island fan, but at Christmas time especially, they really come into their own with great cuts in great fabrics and masses of sparkle thrown in for good measure. As usual I selected 5 frocks and made a horrible show of myself in an obscenely, starkly white changing room.

Dress #1: The body con(cious) Now firstly, I feel I should point out that the only thing my body is concious of is when i'm running low on chocolate supplies, so I should have known that a dress that clings to every lump and bump was not a good idea. Oh, how right I would have been.

Since Alicia Silverstone wandered down the stairs in that white body-con dress in Clueless and explained to her father how fabulous it was (Father: what's that? Cher: A dress Father: who says? Cher: Calvin Klein) I have had a soft spot for the body-con look. It's just that the look does not have a soft spot for me. Unless of course it clinging to my soft spots counts.

I couldnt fasten the zip of the frock all the way (hence the massive gaping) and the tight fit made my tummy look round enough to give santa a run for his money. Having said that the material was very thick and very stretchy, so if you do have figure, and the confidence, to wear body con I can imagine this would be a good dress to go for. Still, that doesn't help me.......

Dress #2: The sparkly dominatrix

Ok, so this dress was quite clingy too, but I liked the neckline so much the rest could be fixed with some super-magic-underwear (I really don't know where i'd be without it!) The horizontal stitching in bands across the dress was both a little widening and totally pointless, as the dress appeared to be made from the same piece of fabric. The things these stores will do for detail, eh?
The length of the dress however was perfect (short, but not too short) The fabric was the perfect weight (have I mentioned I have a thing for super heavy fabric?) and I love the shimmer detail running through it.
Awww, look how happy I look in the close up of the neckline? If only you could take all the best bits from each and make the perfect dress. *sigh*

Dress #3: The Animal Cracker

I love love LOVE this dress! I am every so more than slightly obsessed with animal print anyway, but that is only the first plus point to this fabric dear reader: the print runs diagonally across the dress so it is body lengthening. The fabric is thick and slighty shiny so it has the look of satin without being as cheap and unforgiving as satin.
And you don't need me to tell you that the cut of this dress is amazing. (One look at my smiley face should tell you that!) The unusual strap detail, the flattering bustline, the darting in the centre rather than entirely across the dress so as to aviod the 'maternity-wear' flare so popular at the moment......thats it. Im in love, and i'm going to marry the dress. I'll wear, erm, this and the dress can wear, erm, me I suppose.......

Dress #4: Gok's pick

I picked up this dress because it followed all the 'rules' someone with my body shape is supposed to employ according to How to look good naked guru Gok Wan. Busty: wear a v neck. Hour glass figure: wear a belt around your waist. And most importantly: always aviod wearing black!
Now as far as I'm concern this photo is actual evidence that the rules are rubbish! This dress makes me look dumpy, top heavy and out of proportion, and to be honest, as vibrant as the colour may be, if this is what I look like in red, I think i'll stick to the black.

Dress #5: Rock chick at a prom

The 'pretty' colour of this dress means that it would need some serious accessorising to stop it looking twee and girly. Having said that, it makes a change from the black parade usually associated with a party dress hunt.
I should point of that my boobs are actually sitting 2 inches under the band they should be sitting above. But actually, the dress was cut so nicely that didn't seem to matter and the minimising effect this had was incredible. The flowy chiffon was flattering and hid any minor body flaws but the underlayer was sturdy and supportive so I didn't feel like I might fall out at any moment! The beaded band only goes half way round which is a money saving tip highstreet stores often employ and I always hate, as it breaks the line of the dress. Having said that though, the beading detail is very pretty and not too over the top and 'bling'.
I like this dress. In fact I think add some killer studded spike heels and a chnky gold necklace and she and I could be ready for our date.....
Now i'm sure with her Zara finds, Becky might disagree, but I think River Island has been the most successful store so far. I still dont think the (possibly unobtainable) perfect dress has been found yet though. The hunt continues........

1 comment:

Becky said...

Seriously, how cute? You're the most adorable dominatrix in the Norfolk area. Gok Wang doesn't know crap about crap.