DISCLAIMER: Don't read on if you've had a bad day, or for some other reason don't want to read me having a moan. Scroll down, find some awesome pictures instead!
Over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking more and more about my career (or lack thereof). I suppose it's because the bf and I are moving in together, and no longer living in student houses or flat shares is making me feel very much like a grown up.
I like my job. The people are great, I get to write and it's hardly taxing. But i've never hidden the fact that although its what I keep falling into, online corporate writing about, if i'm honest, things I know nothing about, is definitely not what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.
For as far back as I can remember i've wanted to be a journalist when I grew up (this of course depends on my ever growing up); at first I wanted to do hard hitting front line correspondence - a modern day Kate Adie, but for the past 5-6 years, i've known that what I really want to write about is fashion. And not just because I love clothes, but because proper fashion is so fast paced and innovative and exciting. WHo can see Hussein Chalayan's crazy interdisciplinary dresses, and not realise that fashion is about so much more than what looks pretty.
What i'm moaning about here then isn't the fashion industry. From my squinty view way over here outside the circle of power, I love it, despite all it's flaws which I love reading on the bloggosphere everyday. What i'm moaning about is how I find a tiny little hole in. See, I think i've done everything right; work on the student paper? Check. Take fashion related units at uni? Check. I've worked for OSOYOU and styleshake writing their blogs (short term contracts), I'm a member of the NUJ, and I love love love fashion!
But apparently, this isn't enough to get me an interview anywhere even vaguely fashion related. Unless I want to take 6 months out and work for no salary whatsoever (which in my case would mean eating gruel and living in a box to be affordable; definitely not an option!) then the answer is thank you, but no cigar!
I'd love to meet an ordinary girl like me who can afford to have no income for 6 months; how to people do it? Surely this can't be the only way in, or only girls called Miffy and Bunty would ever make it! I've been told a million times "that if you want to get into the industry you need grit, persistence, and determination". All those things I have. But £10 grand in the bank or better still, the capacity for starvation and homelessness? Well, the lines got to be drawn somewhere!
So what can I do? Well, keep knocking on those doors with my fingers crossed I suppose. I'm forsaking my summer holiday this year and spending my time off on a work experience placement instead. I've signed up to start a fashion course at night school in March (although mostly if i'm honest this is more for fun than career purposes)
And I guess I can stop feeling sorry for myself! Stop writing this little rant and toughen up. Oh, and try to block out the sound of all those doors slamming shut before they've even opened.
Lots of Love,
Tor (Who promises to be in a much more optimistic mood tomorrow!)