Saturday, 18 October 2008

Whore for sequins

Aloha blogosphere,

Tonight I sat down and watched "Strictly Come Dancing" with my grandparents. O! how we cheered when former 90s thinspiration model Jodie Kidd came back from her disastrous performance last week to display a glittering aptitude for the American Smooth. Very old Hollywood: lifts, swirls and sequins.



What I'm saying people: today's all about transformation and glamour. Because isn't that the core of what fashion is about for the laypeople, like you? Like me? it doesn't have to beeposed ribcages or sequins (because god knows not everyone's a drag queen in the same fervent way I am) instead it's about magic.

I'm going through a rough time in my life right now. Everything is up in the air in terrifying, life changing ways. I had to go to London unexpectedly and spent the day wandering the nation capital in a small moist daze. Obviously, I went to Browns.

You see friends, I'm a grown-up lady now and no bullshit retail assistant is going to scare me into not trying on a fabulous dress that costs 3 months' rent. If I want to go into Luella looking like a tramp and swathe myself in unattainable tulle, then look on in horror, Bond Street because that's what's going to happen. They won't dare stop me, I could be a hideously wealthy tramp for all they know. This is known as the Mary Kate Olsen effect.


Workin' the scrag-hag look. Although you'd be a pretty poor salesperson not to spot the Chanel bag and McQueen scarf.

Anyway, emboldened by numbness, I strode like a collusus into Brown's Disount store and went straight for the Christopher Kane dresses.



No more of this diffusion/Topshop bullshit, I wanted the real thing. I strongly believe that if it's within your power, it's worth realising a dream, if only for a moment. I had a lovely shop assistant who let me paw the Rick Owens and Ann-Sofie Back to my heart's content and who additionallycharged herself with the near-Herculean task of getting me into the Christopher Kane dress above. Drapery is complicated - who knew? For a moment I became convinced I was to be trapped in a pantie-exposing velvet prison for the rest of my natural life, but patience and wriggling prevailed.































Am I wrong or is the ethereal voice of Rachel Zoe correct when she says: "Becky. You're shutting it down."? I styled it a little more 1940s vamp/hoodie than the catwalk and I like it better this way. The lovely French assistant told me I could buy Spanx or Spanx-esque supportwear to solve my arse 'problem', but frankly I'm all for letting the belly, the bum and anything else touched by cake and gravity hang free. I look like a goddess and it was just me. I'm not offended by her comments, it was kindly meant and she was French. I just like pie. And shutting it down. And being me. Cue strings.


The Becky Wears Prada ---->


I've learned this: misery breeds misery and this goes double for outfits. There is little or no time for schluping around. Of course, another surefire cure for the blues apart from the love of friends and family is FREE STUFF. Tor and I started this blog with love in our hearts and a dream. A dream that one day our stars would rise to a point where online advertisers would realise our girlish potential and give us FREE STUFF. We are as whores in the face of such things and let there be no bones made. Absolut Vodka have invited us to its House of Masquerade Launch night. There Will Be Booze. There Will Be Vintage. There Will (much to Becky's infinite delight) Be Illustrations by Daisy de Villeneuve, she of the fantastic S/S 09 Versace collaboration and a dozen other exciting projects.

Please don't tell them we're not even slightly cool enough for this stuff. I need the free booze right now. Also: check the awesome promo gift that came through my door this morning.



Sequins! and masks! and Clark Gable! oh my!

Don't you see? It all comes back to Come Dancing in the end. Come Thursday, I'm looking forward to transforming into someone who remotely belongs in Shoreditch and meeting some supercool bloggers. Exciting times.

Your pal,
Becky.

6 comments:

KD said...

That mask is awesome. And you made me want that CK dress! Oy vey. You look really good in it, despite what the saleslady says.

Susie Bubble said...

You go into Browns all you want and try one as much shit as possible...especially the CK...keep doing it..

Rollergirl said...

Love it! See you on Thurs :)

Dressed and Pressed said...

Ladies, I can't wait to meet you. Because when I do, you will make me laugh. Yes you will. I command it. If you do not make me laugh like a drain throughout the night as I am laughing now, I will send my minions to keel you. Dead. Mwahahaha!

Claire said...

I concur - do not let those assistants beat you down!! They are not worth it and can only afford to wear the labels because they get stupid amounts of discount and have to not-eat in order to buy their compulsory uniform.

Saurabi said...

I was participating in a office internal dance show haha in generic viagra lab, that's what I can remember, anyway thanks for sharing lovely pictures.
Good luck.