In the changing room: H&M's new season ruffles

Hi guys,
I really loved the new season ad campaign from H&M when I saw it. And I have seen it everywhere: on buses, in magazines, on the tube....
So when I walked past today, I couldn't resist popping in and trying on my favourite pieces from their new collections:

Ruffles everywhere! H&M have really gone overboard with lots of nudes and creams and lots of ruffles. The fabrics were all silky and super-fine, and the ruffles were made of even lighter chiffon; they felt and looked great, and would look fab (and be more practical!) teamed with an oversized aron cardigan or chunky knit.

These were my favourite two pieces: the knit of the horsey cardigan was super soft, and it was a long and drapey fit. I only tried on the dress because it matched my shoes and handbag, but I loved it once it was on: the sleeves were really flattering and the trapeze shape looked much nicer than I expected.

These were my least favourite pieces: the black dress looked nice enough, but it was made of such a thin cotton it would have needed a slip underneath not to be completely see through! I only tried on the tiered dress because it featured so heavily in the ads, but I know it would look ridiculous on my bust, and I was right!

The winter knitwear is also worth mentioning: gorgeous print scarves, and very cheap gloves too: I picked up two pairs for just £2.99. I also bought a super-long oversized knitted mexican print scarf, perfect for wrapping around my neck a hundred times when it's really cold! I'm a big fan of H&M: the pricepoint is great, but the quality isn't sacrificed. Have the new H&M campaigns tempted you instore? And if so, what did you think?

Love, Tor xx

Primark pick of the week: the changing room edition

I think i've mentioned before that the Primark on Oxford Street opens at 8.30, and that if you get there when they open you will find you have the pleasure of having the shop to yourself: no queues, no pushing, and no mess (because the primark fairies have spend the night hanging everything back up!) It also means that you can walk straight into the changing rooms: this is a rare treat when normally you have to fill your basket and take a chance (unless you have the time and patience to queue for over an hour for the changing room!)

To take advantage of my early morning opportunity, this weeks Primark pick is a changing room edition: here are my five favourite things I tried on when I went to Primark for some very early morning shopping.

White dress, £9. Floral blazer, £13. Lilac polka tunic, £6. I fell in love with this jacket as soon as I saw it (I wasn't going to buy anything but couldn't resist and picked it up) I love the pattern, the fit, and it was an absolute bargain! Technically I know i'm not allowed to buy any more jackets, but this teeny weeny little one won't hurt....

Polka dot dress, £13. Floral bow dress, £11. The polka dot dress fit like a glove and was the perfect balance of smart and casual: this would look great for work on really warm days! The floral dress looked better on than it has photographed, and had lots of really interesting strap details at the back.

As you're reading this, I am in Paris (oh the joy of post scheduling) and hopefully the weather is glorious and i'm having a lovely day. I will be doing that wearing my new jacket....

Love, Tor xx

New season Topshop: this week's picks

Ok, so there's no professional photographer like the last time (just me with the usual camera phone angles!) but here are all my favourite things from my obligatory weekly trip to topshop (this obsession has to stop!!)

.
I'm really impressed with almost everything in Topshop at the minute, and I know the prices keep creeping up and up (they seem to be doing that everywhere!) but is it just me or has the quality gotten better? Certainly almost everything has great little details to make even the pickiest happy and the fabric quality of everything I tried on was luxurious and soft as a babies...

Floral jersy dress, £28. I love this dress, I just wish that it had been in a thicker material to make it more suitable for winter: look at me with my practical head on!

Deer Sweater, £25. I wish I could be a jumper and jeans kind of girl. I just dont have the kind of body shape that suits trousers! But if I was, then it would be this deer jumper all the way! I tried this on in a 12 (it was all they had!) and I think it would look better bigger and slouchier but i'm such a sucker for animals printed on anything. Floral tulip dress, £45. I know it makes my hips look big and all, but I love this dress! Yum!Sequin biker jacket, £85. Love is this jacket. Soft but heavy and buttery coloured and perfect for matching with everything. Not perfect for wearing in wind or rain or snow or any adverse weather condition, but perfect nonetheless.

.

Now i've promised myself no more topshop shopping (or any shopping in fact!) until the Christopher Kane for Topshop collection lands on the 18th September. I have to save my pennies! And that means I can't even walk into topshop until then; i'll only be tempted! Still, that crocodile dress will be mine!!

.

Love, Tor xx

The River Island sale

Hi guys,
.
There are benefits of being a big girl in a slim city (London is the slimmest city in the UK): despite totally missing the boat on the river island sale, three weeks on and all of the sale stock they have left is in my size or bigger! I didn't go in store expecting to find any sale stock left (to be honest i'd forgotten all about it!) but found a treasure trove of lovely dresses:

I loved the bird patterned one shoulder dress with the big purple bow belt (which came with!) I thought it was the perfect day to evening dress for those impromptu weekends where you have no idea what you're going to end up doing! £15

.

The black and white stripey dress (£10), whilst emphasising my figure and making my waist look tiny, made me too much of an hour glass I think; I felt like an all boob version of Betty Boop! The floral strapless number (£15) was lovely, and if I had a wedding or a garden party coming up it would have been perfect; sadly I don't, so it stayed on the rail!
.
My favourite of all the items though was the aptly named "vamp" floral playsuit (£20). I don't know if you can see very clearly, but above the belt it buttons up and darts, creating a gorgeous shape, and I love the flare of the collotes. Thats why I bought this and smuggled it home with me; all these sales are going to get me in trouble!!

.

I would suggest if you are a size 14 or up that you get to the river island at OXford Circus promto to pick up some bargains!

.

Love, Tor

Emma Cook @ Topshop

I went down to oxford street this evening with the specific intention of buying the deer print dress from the new Emma Cook at Topshop collection.

I'd been lusting over it for weeks! When I tried it on though, I was disapointed by how it looked; certainly not one for my body shape! Which is a shame, because as you can see by the close up of the pattern, it is perfect!I am beginning to wonder if people are beginning to lose interest in the designer collaborations. I think design is certainly taking precedence over the cache of having a designer name attached to a collection. The sale section of the store is absolutely jam packed full of Kate Moss, and almost every piece from the Barbara Hulanicki collection. See the BH dress and the KM playsuit below:

If you liked the look of these collections I would definitely recommend that you get down and have a look; the floor length Kate Moss dresses have been reduced to almost nothing! I also found these (not for me but great for somebody else!) vibrant coloured Dr Martin boots reduced to £30: What I ended up buying is for another post, but I can tell you this; I loved the pattern of the Emma Cook dress, but the fit definitely wasn't for me. And £85 seemed a little rich anyway! (well, thats what i'm telling myself to hide the disapointment anyway!)

Love Tor x

Fab frocks visits....the topshop outlet store

OK, OK, so i'm there all the time, but I thought I would take you all on a magical tour into the changing room of the Topshop outlet store. Pickings were especially good today, especially skirts and trousers (lots of jeans for around £10 BOGOF) and especially in sizes 10 and 12.

Here's what I tried:

1. Silk top with draw string waist £10*
2. Floral play suit £38*
3. Silk and cotton trapeze dress £15*
4. Silk topshop boutique ruffle neck top £15* (I bought this one!)
A close up of the collar:
I don't know if i've mentioned it before, but I collect brooches. Old costume jewellery from the 60s-80s mostly, which i pick up from antique shops or car boot sales so i'm sure you can understand why I couldn't resist these: All the freedom jewellery in the magical land is £2 buy one get one free. Can you imagine!? That's £1 per item: how could anyone resist? My favourite is the shiny plastic heart and key brooch. It reminds me of something I once saw in the Betsey Johnson store in Florida.

.

I really like going to the topshop outlet store; I suppose its because I love getting a bargain! It also never ceases to amaze me; you can pop in there and pick up a dress you considered paying the full £60 price tag for, for just £10. There are also loads of tshirt tops and other casual wears for just £5; bring in the bogof factor, and that works out at just £2.50 an item.

.

The fun is that you dont always know what your going to get; one week you can go in and they have loads of shoes, the next week they've had a jean delivery. Its definitely not the place to go if your looking for something specific, but if your a browser shopper like me: Give it a go!

.

Love Tor

.

*Obviously all these prices are buy one get one free, so I guess you could effectively half them!!

What time is it? Why, it's mid-season sales o'clock!!

Hey everyone,

It comes around so fast, and now it's here again: it's mid season sale time!! I'm not afraid to confess i'm a sucker for the highstreet: maybe it comes from not being able to afford anything that costs more than £19.99, but I love looking through magazines, seeing things I like then buying "in the style of" gear for a fraction of the price. And I love taking this stuff and making it my own. Would I take scissors to/stick sequins on/raise the hemline of couture? No I would not! Do I spend most of my weekends doing just that to the crap I pick up from Primark? Yes I do! And I love it and I wouldnt want it any other way! (unless someone wanted to give me some couture...then i could be persuaded to change my mind!)


With this yay for the highstreet attitude in mind, I headed to the river island sale which was both encouraging and disappointing. Disappointing because there wasn't a massive range of stuff in the sale (only 3 rails worth in the big oxford street store) but encouraging because the items that they were price slashing were of a really good quality.

In standard fabfrocks format, here's my "3 of the best":

Dress 1: Dip dye fabulousness


I wish I was better at the slow reveal, but this was my favourite dress of the 3 I tried on. The fabric was really soft against the skin (I know I sound like an advert for fabric softener, but it's true!) and the little jewels and details on the waist band were adorable. It squished my boobs a little but I loved it anyway. The merge into black was very flattering on the chunkier thigh, and the gathering at the neckline was a nice extra detail.

Dress 2: A mesh up

Yikes! Thats waay more breast than anybody needs to see! The puffball skirt on this dress was very cute, as were the details on the shoulders. Both things were also quite slimming and flattering, which is always a good thing. But for me, the see through mesh revealed a little too much. In fact, I think it would reveal too much of anybodys breasts, unless you were 10 feet tall with a particularly long collar bone..or something....

Dress 3: Ditsy Pretty

The title I have bestowed upon this dress probably says it all. It's ditsy, it's pretty, it fit quite nicely and that's about it. It did have a cute button up detail at the back, but I just didn't find it that fabulous. Maybe it was the mauve colour, which is one i'm not overly keen on, but this just didn't excite me. Although having said that, it fit nicely, and what do you want for £15? Wait a minute....this is why my wardrobe is so full of stuff I never wear...suddenly it all becomes clear!

Tonight i'm meeting my sister to devour the sale rail at topshop, oxford circus. Believe me, if there's anything worth trying on, I'll be reporting back tomorrow.

Love,

Tor x

Whore for sequins

Aloha blogosphere,

Tonight I sat down and watched "Strictly Come Dancing" with my grandparents. O! how we cheered when former 90s thinspiration model Jodie Kidd came back from her disastrous performance last week to display a glittering aptitude for the American Smooth. Very old Hollywood: lifts, swirls and sequins.

What I'm saying people: today's all about transformation and glamour. Because isn't that the core of what fashion is about for the laypeople, like you? Like me? it doesn't have to beeposed ribcages or sequins (because god knows not everyone's a drag queen in the same fervent way I am) instead it's about magic.

I'm going through a rough time in my life right now. Everything is up in the air in terrifying, life changing ways. I had to go to London unexpectedly and spent the day wandering the nation capital in a small moist daze. Obviously, I went to Browns.

You see friends, I'm a grown-up lady now and no bullshit retail assistant is going to scare me into not trying on a fabulous dress that costs 3 months' rent. If I want to go into Luella looking like a tramp and swathe myself in unattainable tulle, then look on in horror, Bond Street because that's what's going to happen. They won't dare stop me, I could be a hideously wealthy tramp for all they know. This is known as the Mary Kate Olsen effect.

Workin' the scrag-hag look. Although you'd be a pretty poor salesperson not to spot the Chanel bag and McQueen scarf.

Anyway, emboldened by numbness, I strode like a collusus into Brown's Disount store and went straight for the Christopher Kane dresses.

No more of this diffusion/Topshop bullshit, I wanted the real thing. I strongly believe that if it's within your power, it's worth realising a dream, if only for a moment. I had a lovely shop assistant who let me paw the Rick Owens and Ann-Sofie Back to my heart's content and who additionallycharged herself with the near-Herculean task of getting me into the Christopher Kane dress above. Drapery is complicated - who knew? For a moment I became convinced I was to be trapped in a pantie-exposing velvet prison for the rest of my natural life, but patience and wriggling prevailed.































Am I wrong or is the ethereal voice of Rachel Zoe correct when she says: "Becky. You're shutting it down."? I styled it a little more 1940s vamp/hoodie than the catwalk and I like it better this way. The lovely French assistant told me I could buy Spanx or Spanx-esque supportwear to solve my arse 'problem', but frankly I'm all for letting the belly, the bum and anything else touched by cake and gravity hang free. I look like a goddess and it was just me. I'm not offended by her comments, it was kindly meant and she was French. I just like pie. And shutting it down. And being me. Cue strings.


The Becky Wears Prada ---->


I've learned this: misery breeds misery and this goes double for outfits. There is little or no time for schluping around. Of course, another surefire cure for the blues apart from the love of friends and family is FREE STUFF. Tor and I started this blog with love in our hearts and a dream. A dream that one day our stars would rise to a point where online advertisers would realise our girlish potential and give us FREE STUFF. We are as whores in the face of such things and let there be no bones made. Absolut Vodka have invited us to its House of Masquerade Launch night. There Will Be Booze. There Will Be Vintage. There Will (much to Becky's infinite delight) Be Illustrations by Daisy de Villeneuve, she of the fantastic S/S 09 Versace collaboration and a dozen other exciting projects.

Please don't tell them we're not even slightly cool enough for this stuff. I need the free booze right now. Also: check the awesome promo gift that came through my door this morning.

Sequins! and masks! and Clark Gable! oh my!

Don't you see? It all comes back to Come Dancing in the end. Come Thursday, I'm looking forward to transforming into someone who remotely belongs in Shoreditch and meeting some supercool bloggers. Exciting times.

Your pal,
Becky.

Sex and the City: Again!!!

Hey all,

So, I spent all day yesterday thinking about the Patricia Field collection at M&S, and wishing I’d stopped long enough to try some of the magic dresses on. After all, who doesn’t want to go to parties looking a little bit like Sarah Jessica Parker?

I knew that the longer I thought about how fabulous they would all look, the more disappointed I would be when they inevitably didn’t zip up over my bust, so I finished work and hopped skipped and jumped back to Marble Arch to fill my arms with frocks and embark on some changing room madness.

Dress #1: The sparkle dress

Look at that sparkle! The high necked collar did nothing for my bust, but as you can see it looked great from the front. However it clinged rather unflatteringly to my tummy which didn’t look good from the side. The dress was very heavy and felt really nice on though.


Dress #2: The floral dress

As you can see by the way it’s hanging off my shoulder, this dress wouldn’t quite zip all the way up at the back. Not boob friendly then. This dress disappointed me a little, because it was the one I most wanted to look fabulous, but it really didn’t….

Dress #3: The corsage dress

Aside from the thick and beautiful corsage, which is beautiful whichever way you look at it, I was a bit dubious about this dress on the hanger. The fabric was a stretchy lycra which I didn’t expect to flatter at all. However, I was wrong!! I love love love this clichéd statement dress.


Dress #4: The star dress

Apparently star print isn’t getting old! There’s nothing particularly fabulous about this dress but the fit is nice, the thicker straps were flattering on a wider arm and it felt light and floaty. Probably the only dress I tried on that I would say wasn’t worth the money though…


Dress #5: The demure dress

This dress didn’t seem especially fab on the rack, but then when I tried it on it turned out to be the best fitting dress of them all. The sheen on the fabric looked great, the gemmed collar was really well made, and all the detail in the back stopped it looking boring.


So there you have it. A close up of how the Patricia Field collection looks on a ‘real’ body. Because, frankly, even a bin liner would look OK on a mannequin! I’m sure you’re all sick of seeing these dresses by now though: I’ll step away from the M&S tomorrow, I promise.

Love
Tor

Trial by Changing Room: Giles for New Look

Hello internet friends,

While Tor holidays in Dexter country (Florida, USA), I am visiting my grandparents in Ashford, Kent. Commonly known as 'Trashford' to discontented teenagers county-wide, I nevertheless view it with rose tinted contact lenses. For one thing, it's got its own tank.

That's WWI right there! In your stupid heritage face, Canterbury!

For another, it is in fair proximity to Bluewater, shopping mall o' American-like proportions and noted favourite of our nation's greatest export: Ms Victoria Beckham. Bluewater is home of every high-end high street shop, designer boutiques and is packed with hilarious mall art. For added value it looks like a space station of the semi-dystopian future.

I've never seen anyone over 30 in there. Just sayin' (10 points + cookies if you know what I'm talking about)

My point, and I do have one, is that Bluewater also houses the oft-dissed 'Gold' Giles Deacon for New Look collection, this year modelled by Agyness Deyn.

I've long been a fan of the Giles Deacon diffusion collection. There's a 1950s sauciness that runs through most of his New Look stuff that I rather enjoy. I also have a huge soft spot for New Look and its sparkly, shiny tickety-tack. I am in the biggest fattest minority on this subject but there it is. So when beloved mother and I pootled up to Bluewater (being a non-driver is tres glam, non?) I was excited to schlep it on upstairs to the changing rooms, ready to brave the sub-tropical temperature engendered by massed teen bodyheat for Sweet Lady Fashion!

Look 1 - Corset Zip Top that I May Have On Backwards

I'm going to charitably say that the hips this top gives me remind me of Jean Paul Gaultier's leather corsets for Hermes. I'm feeling exceptionally generous because I think cheap-looking domanatrixes should exhibit an amicable attitude to life. Still, look at my boobs, right? That's some mighty Marks & Spencer scaffolding at work there. Plus, if I'm always on a backwards angle, it makes me look thin. Life is so much sexier at 45 degrees, people. Grab a protractor and grab some ass, is what I say.

Look 2 - Line-y bondage dress

Y'see, one of the great points in New Look's favour is its democratic approach to sizing. Unlike the Kate Moss @ Topshop debacle, I'm not invited to look in the mirror and feel shame at my non-Mossian jellified, hair-spackled form. In this dress, as denoted by my High Klass modelling 'Rargh' face, I actually feel quite sexy.

Klassy Modelling Face No.34

Look 3 - Flagship Pink

Codename "Exception to the Rule". Even bloggers who hate the Gold colllection have a little crush on this dress. Sherberty pinks and tiny ruffles? Very punk princess. The moment I saw it, I knew it was going to make me look like a coked-up socialite, three months pregnant and in total denial. Which in itself is kind of ace.

Y'see? I love it, my belly loves it - everybody's happy. The little ruffles don't like curves so much and rise up to meet you like little puppy tongues. Fans of my near-constant knicker flashing will enjoy the back shot:

Yes indeed. File it under 'Size 10 or under'. Or embrace the belly and the drunken falling. It's a lifestyle choice thing.

This is my drunk and inconsolable paparazzi look.

Look 4 - White Jeans (Making Elizabeth Hurley Proud)

I have never partaken of this nautical/Notting Hill trend before. However, an endorsement from "The Cheap Date Guide to Style" ("weirdly flattering") and the fact I was feeling a little bit trash, led to the donning of white denim.

To be fair to La Hurley and Cheap Date, paired with my silk M&S tuxedo tunic they do elongate my legs a treat and gave me a different bum entirely. Check it:

However, and almost equally pleasingly, they're totally white-trash pant and buttock revealing with even the slightest bend groundwards. I felt gloriously Jerri Blank in those puppies.

If you're stil looking for the right 47 year old junkie crack-whore to worship as your God, may I humbly suggest
Jerri Blank.

Look 5 - Sequinned Green
Yes the corsage is playing on the wrong side of hideous but like all sequin-y dresses, it was kinda fun and squeezed me into a shiny earthworm shape.

I had fun. And for bonus, the sequins didn't threaten to serrate my Face/Off when I removed the dress.

Look 7 - Corset Top and Frilly Skirt

Okay, the dresses are all fine and good and more unflattering than not. This one, however - I love it. The skirt was all kinds of adorable: 100% Silk with lace inserts. Look how happy I am! I wiggled my bottom like a child.

More and more I began to feel like a slutty cheerleader from a 1987 teen movie. A really bitchy and periphiral one.




People bitch about New Look's trashy vest tops but this one was a soft cotton blend and very long. I enjoyed it way more than I had envisioned.

Go 1987! Woo! Yay! Etc!

If the Gods of Finance were on my side, I would have totally purchased this outfit. Verily, it put hustle in my bustle.

Please concentrate on my sultriness and not on the debris the teenagers before me left in the corner.

Accessories
Nautical Rope Heels
Bit of a cliche this season but I still enjoy the rope feature and giant golden buckle. I was also plesed that the heels didn't instantly cripple my high arches the way most high street shoes do. That said, if they weren't carrying the mild Giles Deacon-ish prestige, I doubt I'd enjoy them much at all - I'm not a fan of stitch embellishments and the heel isn't high enough (it's about 3 inches) to generate the nerdy 'fierce' factor.

Wow -- only one shoe. Wigmore & FabFrocks brings you nothing but the deepest class. You wouldn't believe the amount of black changing room filth I had to Photoshop off my feet.
Jesus wept.

Neon Flats

Bit grim, innit? There's nothing special about these flats except for the colour which, in person,
is bright enough to sting my mother's eyes. The clear PVC rim is a fine showcase for my sweat condensation but little else. Yeuch. Too grimey cheap even for my taste.

Wow. I'm at a loss, even with a heapin' bag of irony at my disposal.

If Giles was doing some kind of multi-accessory transparent Mr. T tribute thing then at least I could understand it. But no. It's just that key. That heavy plastic key. I don't know. I just don't know.

Woo. Not a note to end on. That's depressing on a Joss Whedon level. Let's cheer ourselves up with a bit of rip-off chic:

Whew. Neon green is such balm to the troubled soul. In conclusion, the collection is patchy and much less cohesive than the previous 2 efforts. Still, at heart I am a John Waters trash maven and so some pieces (the bitchy cheerleader ones) really did speak to me.

Speaking of which, if we fattened and ugg'd up Agyness, wouldn't she make the best John Waters character with that bleached hair, black eyebrows and cheap Giles getup?

Divine et al in Pink Flamingos




Cast of Cry Baby

Hey Deyn, eat some pies and call my people. We'll talk.

Love,
Becky.