Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Becky's Birthday - Come Prancing!

Dear blogosphere,

In two hours, I'll 25 years old. Hitting the quart! I'm not going to make your ears bleed with all that droney "Gah! I'm so old" nonsense. I'm young, dumb and full of 'Come Dancing' with all its associated frills.

Surrender to me the following birthday gifts:

Dior Fertility lady stilettos:

Keeping the feet sweet and the ovaries gooey.
Forgive me Imelda, I love them.

The River Island Nazi bag.
Fascistic *and* fierce!

My Judy Garland Life by Susie Boyt
It's no birthday without Judy and spiraling obsession.
It's no life without Judy and spiraling obsession.


A full pony.

I'm sitting by my letterbox in anticipation of your bounty.


Monday, 29 September 2008

Crunchy nuts!

Morning all,

I come to you all bearing the gift of an excuse to go out and buy couture:

New research undertaken this month suggests that the cram it all in, sell it all cheap policy of the British Highstreet we know and love may finally be on its way out. Sob! Sad times for primark addicts like me then. Y'oouch! I hope you all feel my pain.

Leisa Barnett, fashion editor of vogue.com no less, said in the independent that: "The credit crunch means that people are moving away from the kind of frivolous excess that goes along with fast fashion and choosing their purchases more wisely"

Well now I can see why that makes sense. Unless of course, you're already flat broke. I explained the following logic to my dearest mum:

Me: These bloody pumps have had it, i'll have to pop to Primark to buy a new pair

Mum: Those primark shoes are no good you must buy a pair a month

Me: Yup sometimes more. But £5 every 3-4 weeks I can afford. £60 (the cheapest I could find a decent pair of black leather shoes when I hit the shops this weekend) all in one go, I can't.

Maybe things will change now i'm a real human with a real job. Maybe the idea of spending more than £15 on one item will stop filling me with dread and horror. But I put those £60 sensible shoes back on the shelf and used the same amount of money to buy all of this from Primark instead:

Disposable it may be. Longevity it may not have. And Ms Barnett of that bible Vogue will no doubt be appalled. But all these pretty things make me a lot happier than the sensible white shirt from Whistles these credit crunch-conscious shoppers are suggesting I spend my hard earned fashion pennies on. And I just can't waste my money on something so boring it makes me want to cry.

Cheap taffetta and fake chiffon it is then!

Who'da thought that loving clothes and buying lots of them would actually make me un-fashionable?!

Much love,


Sunday, 28 September 2008

Emulation Nation

Hi blogosphere,

Oy, but the fashion world's topsy turvy this season, uh? Giles Deacon totally disappoints, Prada is an utter bust but the big ol' fashion houses I usually barely acknowledge are uncommonly ace. I'm talking about Dolce & Gabbana and - can't believe this - Versace! They were bustin' out the Julie Verhoevan Medusa prints and I found my stomach doing little flips of love.

"Dude, I would so hit/wear that," Click to make big and luxuriate in the splendour.

Ah, but if you've read the blog, you'll know I'm a sucker for illustration. The first shows in Paris were actually some pretty hot merde on the ol' artwork front. Quite apart from the awesome pleaty-insane courtier chic going on at Gareth Pugh

She's the queen and she wipes clean!

You see? Pugh can do black *and* white.
Versatility o'clock!
(legitimately obsessed with this look, however)

However, I'm particularly loving Belgium Kris Van Assche's Paris collection. The models almost looked like a physical threat. Even a little bit badass-y. Lots of sheer loose fabrics contrasted with sharp tailoring, navy, black and of course, the crucial chest/neck tattoo action.

Sure the last two shoe options suck but the patent boots could work...However, it's like Coco Chanel said: get dressed and before you go out, check the mirror and take one thing off. And then add a neck tattoo. Here are your options:

Julia Pott's Cat and dog temporary Tatt - $6 @ Etsy

Good ol' fashioned Elvish ($3.25) by ElectrikPinkPirate @ Etsy.

Terrifying My Little Drippy Penis/Pony temp tattoo
$20 by tattoojessica

Moustache/facial hair temp-tatts
$3.50 by PishPoshPaperworks

Myself, I'm all about wearing the story of a cat and dog in love. The partially engorged pony is more of a summer thing. Right now, I'm taking outfit inspiration from Dolce. I totally wore this look all day today.

Total pyjama-day chic. Veil not pictured.

I am so fashion right now.


Thursday, 25 September 2008

London, Bowler Hats, and Ting!

Sorry for my long long absence fashion friends, but what with finishing the dissertation, moving to london and starting a new job (teamed with the distinct lack of internet in my new flat) it's all been going on. Yup, just like our super fellow bloggers 'I am Fashion', we are now a duel city, as well as a duel writer, blog. Admittedly, there is no real glamour or international air travel involved in the norwich/london commute, but I hear sometimes crazy things happen on trains. My sister and I once saw Liam Connor from Coronation Street on the train to Manchester: Mad!!

On the brightside, the Wigmore is much better at the fashion showy stuff than I am, what with her superior skill for fashion geeking-out, so you haven't missed anything from me anyway, aside from the slight omission of (predictably) my favourite designer. Betsey Johnson usual 'quirky' range was out in force and she went for an eighties-esque theme channelling pixies, pirates, and, erm, candyfloss coloured wigs. I LOVE it!. You knew that I would....

This is the dress I am giving serious consideration to getting married in. My boobs would look cer-azy. Teamed with the hat and victorian style pixie boots of course!

Anyway back to business. Much like La Wigmore (It's how they say it in France) I am sooo totally over fashion week(s). Are the models too skinny? Are we wearing big necklaces or skinny ones? Is anyone else feeling more than the teeniest amount of deja vu, teamed with a big dose of BLAH!?

Time to return to my real passion: hitting the highstreet hard and fast. (although of course its not the same without my curly haired friend) I haven't done as much shopping as I would've liked over the past weeks, but with payday fast approaching I can see a big spending spree coming my way this weekend. And as I just had my first peek at the new topshop lookbook (I know, this hit inboxes days ago, keep up tor!) i've got a few ideas for potential purchases in mind:

I need to be a peach bird of prey wearing a soft dress with a ruffle hem. I'll even give the ankle socks a go (although obviously, because i'm me, there would be tights underneath) Every piece of this outfit will be mine. I'm not brave enough to wear it altogether. But the jacket with jeans, the dress will a leather jacket (yes becky, and a belt) all pieces to wear.

If only I weren't trapped in an office wearing a sensible suit. Oh topshop, where art thou?!

Lots of love,


Wednesday, 24 September 2008

We Lives in His Lap

Hello blogosphere,

I'm sick sick sick of fashion week. It's been singularly unimpressive and chock full of bulging ribcages. Let's instead celebrate a certain level of Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik-liciousness as personified by Andre 3000 (or Andre Benjamin, if you insist) and his new clothing line Benjamin Bixby.

Here be the man:

Obsessed with this tiger polo combo.

in. frickin'. overalls.

Legimitised in our bloggy eyes via The Sartorialist

Here be the product:

Quote from Andre's interview in The Guardian:

"I think a lot of African-American kids don't have fathers to teach them how to dress, so you end up being taught by pictures in magazine and movies. You see cowboys, Indians, old Hollywood films, Cary Grant. It has an effect on you."

Randolph Scott & Cary Grant. Yes, I know. I know.

Fred Astaire

No offence Big Boi, but you be looking like a chump next to your bandmate. Would a little tailoring kill you? A jaunty hat?

Friends, if you have a penis, consider my advice to Big Boi as applying to your very own self. Basically, if you're not dressed as a 1930s college football star, I just don't have time for you.

'cept this guy. This guy can be in my gang.
via Facehunter.

Suit up here and here. And report back here at 0900 for your next orders.

Sgt Wigmore

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Milan-o-rama: Tracksuit Strippers at Prada

Hello blogosphere,

The thing about Prada is I love Prada. Without fail it appeals to my artsy-fartsy sensibilities and love of fancy hats. I've been with Miuccia all the way: from robots to turbans to feathers to knee socks, Wigmore laps it up. All the while however, I've held the following to be true:

1) It usually takes me about three days to digest and fully 'get' a Prada collection. 2) The Spring/Summer Prada is always less awesome than Autumn/Winter Prada by a factor of least 2 and up to 11.

Even with these truths in mind, I gotta say that this is the most disappointed I've ever been with a Prada collection. Bit paratrooper-stripper for my taste. You know how in Arrested Development Gob had those pull-away 'Hot Cop' pants? Yeah. These gals could be naked n gyratin' in 0.5 seconds.

How can anyone imagine that this looks good? Bra-less pigeon ribcage and we're supposed to swoon? This ain't jolie-laide it's laide-laide-laide. If the model doesn't look good than what hope the rest of us? According to fashionologie, the models were teetering and wiping out on the shoes. Ordinarily, laughing at models tripping over is the finest sport in fashion, but the clothes make them look so weak, so fragile, I'm feeling nothing but nothing less than protective and no shiny golden dress finale in going to change that.

Yulia Kharlapanova on her way down.

Ordinarily I'd be all over this but I'm in fashion despondance.

What with this and Burberry being a super-snooze, I'm getting a little concerned about Milan.

Shoulda followed my advice and done wombats, Miuccia...though I'm still holding a glimmer for Miu Miu. Hopefully the marsupials will out.


Paws and Claws

Hello blogosphere,

Well, they didn't give Kristin Chenoweth an Emmy so my entourage and I stormed out fairly early on in the ceremony. I was disappointed indeed to note the lack of monkey dresses on the Red Carpet. Hollywood needs to catch up quick-smart to my style acumen or risk looking hopelessly passe. Still: 4 good (or at least a little interesting) ones:

Christina Hendricks ("Mad Men")

America Ferrera ("Ugly Betty")

Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)

Laura Dern

You'll notice I'm giving "Mad Men" props to two cast members. This is an example of media bias. To be honest, Christina Hendricks is the only one of all these who gives me chills and it's mostly boob-related. America Ferrera is doing vintage glam of which Wigmore also approves (plus, red lipstick, people. Live it. Love it.)

You'll see also that we've got the lovely Peggy Olsen (or to call her by her earth name - Elisabeth Moss). She's working the red lip and her own special brand of glorious frump. I'm obsessed with Hollywood jolie-laide. It's a real rarity and I love her so much for it. Laura Dern is included cuz a pockets. Love me some gown pouches and on a David Lynch lady to boot.

But p'eh. Still, you don't look at the Emmys and expect Vogue Italia. 48% less nipple for a start. If you want someone who's actually good at this stuff see Red Carpet Fashion Awards. The woman who runs that is some bizarre Yoda of catwalk and she'll analyse and critique beyond your wildest dreams.

Speaking of catwalk and a lack of monkeys, I'm noticing a curious proliferation of anamorphisation. Who'd a thought the Spring/Summer 09 would so zoo-ey?



Moschino Cheap & Chic


Armani Prive


Just Cavalli


Armani Prive


Both Christopher Kane



This all pleases me no end. It's funny how a horned shoe can make a person immediately lighter of heart. I just hope Prada does something with wombats. My trend spotting spidey-sense is telling me that their moment is nigh...

Look at him. In Milan, everyone travels by ten-year-old girl.


Monday, 22 September 2008

Bloody Hell, I'm Late!

Hello blogosphere,

So much time flown. Still, I've spent a raging summer indoors and now have a Masters Degree and a distinction to show for it. Yay the Wigmore.

However, your congratulations are the chittering of pigeons and peasants to me. I have but one question to ask of you blogosphere:


I've left it little late what with them being on another continent, starting about now and me being in Norwich in a brown cardigan. Still, the helicopter is warming up, Rachel Zoe is making me a 'special' smoothie, I have access to style.com and important decisions have to be made. Which? which which?

Supa-tough rotting goth Spectacularrrr

by Meadham Mirchoff?

Dark hands on Dynasty side-boob by Proenza Schouler?

My armpit bleeds for no-one but you
by Modernist?

I'm blocking James Spader's view of the stage
by Christian Siriano?

Lilac simplicity with giant lion head
by Josh Goot/ Nagi Noda (RIP)?

Fuck it. We all know I'm wearing the monkey dress.

Christopher Kane, you rock my world. This dress has been all over the blogosphere but I don't care. I'm just so glad we're all on the same page. Frankly, I'll be bitterly disappointed if I wake up tomorrow to find that the Emmy red carpet ISN'T crowded with perfect hair, shiny teeth and damn dirty apes.

I don't care if you're Creationist or Richard Dawkins - it's hot and it's right now.

Anyway, goodnight, it's good to be back and gooooooooo Mad Men! Yay 30 Rock! (and nominate Battlestar Galatica next year, wouldya?)