I'll wear it in any colour, as long as it's black

Athough I make occassional timid forays into the weird and wonderful world of clothing made in (gasp for effect) colour, my wardrobe consists of mostly black things. In fact my 3 favourite things in the whole world are: my black leather bomber jacket, my black skinny jeans, and my black satin puffball prom dress. I also have a Betsy Johnson handbag I got for Christmas that I would risk my life for in a burning house, but that's a very dark brown. Anyway, reader, you get the point. I love black.

Frankly, colour scares me. This Christmas when everyone was searching for the perfect purple dress,(because everyone went crazy for the violets and plums shown at Lanvin) I was still looking for the perfect black one.

Dress from the AW07 range at Harvey Nicholls

You see, the problem with colours is that they come and go. Whereas black, like a truly dependable friend, will never go out of Vogue. I like to see my wardrobe as a box of chocolates (hey, i'm a candy addict!) Sometimes I fancy a truffle, and sometimes I fancy a strawberry soft centre. And it's fun to mix these things up a bit. But whatever filling i'm in the mood for, the one thing I will always want is chocolate.

So I wear my colour with trepidation. Enter stage left: the accessory. Yes, you too can always wear the most up to date trends, and still not have to throw away your favourite dress. Behold, my homage to the purple trend at my aunties wedding in Novmber:

My favourite black puffball dress is turned into a new season trend with the help of a fancy hat and a cheap scarf. Fashion without having to leave my comfort zone: one of my favourite things.

So, what prompts this colour driven angst I hear you cry? Well, that would be the news that this Spring/Summer we will all be wearing vibrant canary yellow and garish pop art hot pink:

When pink attacks...

Clockwise from top left: 3.1 by Phillip Lim, Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors, Donna Karan, Catherine Malandrino, Oscar de la Renta, Anna Sui, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Zac Posen (Image Kindly borrowed from handbag.com)

Now as wonderful as these models look, in yellow, I do have major issues with the new yellow/hot pink trends.Firstly, not 2 of the most flattering colours in the world. (especially with my complexion, dahhling!) Secondly, 2 colours i'm just not sure I can get away with teaming with my beloved black (unless I want to look like a bumblebee or an 80s reject: and not the cool kind)

What to do? Oh, woe is me!

It's at times like this I thank God for that most wonderful of inventions: denim. Enter my cute skinny light denim jeans teams with a simple black or white top and yellow/pink shoes delete depending on mood) with acres of the same coloured jewellery. If you're similarly colour opposed (it's a choice, not a desease) then here are some attention grabbing coloured accessories to start off your new season collection:

Pink leather foldover wallet. Topshop £15
Yellow braces. Topshop. £10
Bottega Veneta Woven leather belt £255. Netaporter.com
Marni Disc necklace £316. Netaporter.com

Jade Jagger Pink Kiss Necklace. £95 Netaporter.com

...........Crisis averted. Vive le black! x

Holy Press Sample Calamity!

Hello blogosphere,

It's way exciting that we're on Stylebubble's link list now. We've had a bump in visitors from pilgrims from that site which must mean, therefore, surely-maybe-kinda that Grazia photospreads, glassy-eyed Nigella style cookery segments and pet dressing advice columns in Pop await us. I plan to show my nipples every chance I get - by summer they'll be more familiar to you than your mother's most tender smile.

Toothpaste for Dinner

I'll be honest, I'm besieged with things to write about and quip merrily over. But instead of delighting y'all with original content, I'm going to update the Topshop capsule range situation. My jokes cannot compete with designer endorsed high street lurex and I know that now.

Here, for your delectation is a more complete look at both the Louise Goldin and Jonathan Saunders ranges, hot off the press from Look magazine.

Uh, hmm. Does anyone notice a decided difference in quality from the Vogue shoot?
It just goes to show what a difference a model makes. Here, these dresses look flat and a little lumpen. In fact, they could be the crew's uniform on the brave space voyages of Starship 80s. (the hoodie is fo' off-duty look, yo). Hmm. I shall reserve ultimate judgement until I see them on bodies.

Jonathan Saunders's stuff looks in slightly better shape although we've still got that intergalactic 80s geometric vibe going on.

I enjoy the silver t-shirt dress, especially as it looks to feature an attractive glittering floorplan as its motif. Hey Saunders, where's the fire exit? is a fine name for a dress. However, though I feel I've seen the t-shirt before and in a million charity shops, I fairly enjoy the tired geometric Aztec face on the white dress. Additionally, I've spoken before of my love of the classic Saunders black-dress-with-waterfall-of-colour, although I prefer the sunset tones in the Observer preview.

Still Thandie loves Jonathan's bright designs!! Isn't that reassuring? Now that we're on first names terms and everything, I feel way confident in my sartorial choices. Thandie Newton wouldn't steer you wrong. She's very pretty and she taught us racism is bad. and panel dresses are good

NOTE TO LOOK MAGAZINE:
Hey Look, I'm a friend and long-term reader. You know that bit in Mean Girls where Regina explodes at Stacey: "Stacey, stop trying to make 'fetch' happen. It isn't going to happen." Well, Look, it's kind of the same deal with the whole calling Topshop/Toppers debacle. C'mon. It's not catching on. For the good of the young people, just stop and we'll act like it never happened.

Your pal,
Becky.

Hide my eyes, make me pretty

I admit it, i'm one of that rare breed of horrible (potentially pretentious) people that wears sunglasses in the winter. Cold sunny days make me happy because they mean I can protect my eyes stylishly from the bright white light.

I don't hate myself for my winter sunglasses wearing ways too much though, because i'll have you know i'm in good company (no,dear reader, i am not thinking of Victoria Beckham!)

Jackie Onassis, widow of the former US president JFK and all round style-icon was famous for wearing her statement shades all year round and even today "Jackie O glasses" is a phrase used synonomously with "oversized glasses". Sigh. And noone before or since has ever pulled off the look so effortlessly. All hail queen Jackie! We oversized shades enthusiasts salute you (whatever the time of year)!

Now even if you don't subscribe to the "i'll wear sunglasses with everything goddammit" philosophy-and if you don't you should really think about it- with summer just around the corner (I promise it is, you can almost smell it) now is the perfect time to invest in a brand new pair of super cool-because no other kind of cool will do- shades. With this in mind, Miss Becky and I set out to find the finest of the finest sunglasses for your viewing pleasure.

Our first stop was H&M, as they are one of the only few highstreet stores to have their new summer sunglasses range in stock already:

Help! Our noses seem to have disapeared! Bad, bad H&M.......

For these fine oversized offerings in a variety of different shapes and colours, H&M deserve a ginormous thumbs up. And with each pair coming in at under £5, they represent extrordinary value for money (particularly if, like me, you sit on and therefore break at least 3 pairs every summer regardless of price or quality)

With this minor eyewear victory under our belt, we headed jauntily (because Becky had brought a new hat from H&M, and jauntily is the only way you can possibly walk sporting a new hat) to the House of Frazer.


As you can no doubt tell from my scrambled enthusings above, I am somewhat of an oversized shades obsessive, so I didn't think I was going to like the Rayban wayfarers worn by such celebs as Kelly Osbourne and Sienna Miller (just in case you don't look at any gossipy celeb blogs now and again!) I usually much prefer Rayban aviators. Especially the dark brown ones. But these glasses were suprisingly comfortable and flattering: particularly as they cut under my (relatively new) fringe- a problem I have been having with the bigger styles.


Becky looked particualry glamourous in these Spitfire offerings, but we both agreed that given their dark colour and shape, they were just too big for her lovely face. In fact, the House of Frazer sunglasses department was a bit of a disapointment, particularly for Becky, with this Dior shades making her pull her saddest and unhappiest face:

Poor, poor becky! If you promise to stop pulling that frog face I shall turn you into a princess to make you feel a little better:

*** Original picture taken from talented charicaturist Killia Llano

Oh Miss O! You really are!

Liberal Media Conspiracy (plus ruffles)

Hello blogosphere,

Bloody The Guardian, bloody The Observer. I tell you there's nothing more pathetic than a grown woman with flu speedwalking the streets at 6.30 on a Sunday eve, glistening with snot and desperate to find one newsagent open that still has an Observer on sale. Usually, I wouldn't touch it or even think of putting myself in such a situation - the only good bits of The Guardian are Charlie Brooker and the Book section and I can read them online - but I was on a mission for fashion.

Now, as I've said before, The Guardian/Observer is also almost comically shit for fashion but, on my daily click to Style Bubble, I was greeted with news of February's fabled Topshop Diffusion range with Christopher Kane, Marios Schwab, Jonathan Saunders et al. More than news, friends - scans from the Observer Woman supplement. Much undignified soiling occurred.

However, I grew anxious - what if Susie Bubbl;e had only shown us an edited look at the page? I must! I must! see the whole thing, I cried! I rang round my hippie liberal friends to see if any of them had bought The Observer and disgustingly, none of them had. This includes Tor, by the way, who lists her political leanings on Facebook as "Very Liberal". No Observer on Sunday, Tor? Very Liberal? Hah! You are "Very LIES" and now everybody knows.

After a cold spasm-y run, I retrieved my prize from my favourite newsagent that never closes - Sunday trading laws can go to hell! Victory and glory await! I thought as I slumped on the sofa. But no. The shitty magazine and its shitty cheap paper gave us only 5 exclusive items and I had seen them all online. Susie Bubble has already scanned them but I'm doing it here on principle, because I bought the bloody bastard arse-face thing:

Top row,
Ugly ass glitter blazer with pockets that makes a mockery of all that is good and pure (£65)
Leather hooded jacket by Christopher Kane for Topshop (£250)
Grey Bodice front dress by Christopher Kane for Topshop (£85)
Bottom Row
Ruffle Dress by Richard Nicholl for Topshop (£75)
Black skirt with leather bodice belt by Christopher Kane for Topshop (£95)
Black Dress with Awesome Coloured Panel by Jonathan Saunders for Topshop (£75)

As always, click the pic to make it big. You'll enjoy better detail and the chance to see just how see-through the paper Observer Woman prints on happens to be. Scandal.

A publication with thicker shinier paper is in order, I think. February's British Vogue had the thoughtfulness to give us a catwalk supplement which held photographs of each of the Topshop Diffusion designers with their chosen model wearing one of their Topshop outfits. It's not much but it's at least a glimpse of the fabric texture:

Marios Schwab w/Clemence Posey
Hey, Schwab. Nobody spoons with Fleur Delacour except Bill Weasley (That was a courtesy to you, Harry Potter geeks - I had to look that shit up). It's a big shame we can't see more of the denim coat dress she's wearing. This is the only Marios Schwab for TS image I can find and I'm a bit disappointed with this, especially considering his dazzling insect-y S/S 08 collection .


Todd Lynn
Hmm. Shiny high street tuxedo jackets. It'll all depend on the quality of the material....Shirt's cute, however. Love me a pleat.


Louise Goldin
OB-sessed. I want this dress with my whole heart. Look at those dainty straps! Look!
It says here that this dress is supposed to be instore already....hm. No-show at topshop.com. Worrisome.



Christopher Kane
His little face. It's a nice close-up look at the jacket featured in the Observer spread - it looks a lot classier when you see it up close. I'm also delighted Sir Kane chose a girl who isn't a very slender nymphy model type. It's just like when he dressed Beth Ditto for Fashion Rocks. He's ace that way - now if only Browns.com stocked his main line in a size above 10...


Richard Nicoll
Very cute little dress in the pinstripe and although the ruffle design is somewhat similar to a Viktor & Rolf for H&M dress, the chiffon lifts it into a slightly more elegant, less whimsical place. Looks so much better than in the Observer picture, right? Right.

So there you have it. I am spent, visually at least.

Becky's picks:
The Christopher Kane bodice dress (no duh) - CK cuts for my body and I am well up for a little kinky medieval action.
Jonathan Saunders dress - Just because I think I deserve to wear the colours you see when you look at the sun too long.
Louise Goldin dress - Did you not see it? It's so rare the high street customer gets access to that kind of flair with colour. Gotta jump.

Okay, so let the donations and charity car-washing begin!

Your pal,
B.

The pants of a glamour model.......

This afternoon I popped over to Asda to buy a packet of rocket (just more insight into my oh-so-glamourous life for you, dear reader) and naturally I just happened to have a glance at George. There sale is pretty much over now, and they already have alot of their new season stock instore. Which is nice. But today, believe it or not, i'm not going to write about clothes. Because today I wandered down a section of the george department i've never bothered with before: I looked at the underwear.

Now as a lady 'blessed' (or cursed depending on how you look at it) with an ample busom and a slender back, buying highstreet underwear is rarely something I get the chance to do: I buy alot of my underwear from specialist online stores and they invariably come in 3 designs: plain black, plain white, plain grey. Not what you;d call inspiring or sexy. But today I realised those clever folks at Geoge at Asda had a solution for ladies just like me: and that solution comes in the form of the infamous glamour model, Jordan (aka Katie Price)

Kate Price Basic bra, £12 (Copyrighted images stolen from Asda website, oops!)

Katie Price has a range of self-named, very reasonably priced underwear available at George which comes in sizes 32-38 D-G. And not only are the prices reasonable and the sizes ample enough, the designs are also that rarest of things for us larger bosomed ladies: very pretty.

Katie Price bra, £16. Katie Price shorts, £10

The fabric of the range is lovely, and feels really nice quality, the cut is genourous and the stitching on the fancier designs is beautiful. I left Asdas this afternoon with a packet of rocket, a bra, a basque, and 2 pairs of fancy shorts, all from the Katie Price range (except the rocket, which was asda's own brand)

Who'd have thought i'd be taking style advice from the most cliched glamour model of them all!?But Katie has got this range of lingerie spot on, and it really fills a gap in the market. I have to say, just this once: Mrs Andre, I salute you!