Big Baby

Hello blogosphere,

It's late. I have to be up tomorrow morning for a important meeting at work. Predictably, I have the last word in chronic insomnia. Maybe that's why I'm in tears over the latest A/W 2008 Hussein Chalayan collection. According to style.com, the collection is a loose narative on the evolution of man. Obviously it was ace: the models were smiling, there was the usual Chalayan lightshow spectacularrrrr and some fabulous cavewoman ballgowns.

I'm not crying because of that though. It's all about this dress:

Maybe I'm overtired. Maybe I'm pre-premenstral and broody as fudge. But a dress with an inbuilt baby monkey cuddle is basically my must-have item of the decade. I'll grow sharper incisors and begin a chest-beating rampage in Dover Street Market until they give it me. Fo' real.

Lace can officially go to hell.

Love,
Becky

Better Late then Never - Oscar Red Carpet Fashion.

Hello blogosphere,

Tor and I know that in the fast moving world of l'internet, you have to get your thoughts out there fast else three days will pass and your opinion is so much dry dust. With that in mind, Tor and I speedily and non-grammatically MSN'd our opinions about the latest Oscar fashions.

We know you're sick of the obvious so we tried to spread the net a little wider. But you're still seeing Marion Cotillard again so I'm afraid you'll have to suck it up some. It's been a lean year friends. And with that, please enjoy our extended text-based conversation:

Becky says:
You ready to critique outfits?
Tor says:
i'm so ready!
Becky says:
In a intellectual style?
Tor
not sure about the intellectual bit but i'm up for looking at dresses and making pleasing noises!
.....i liked Anne Hathaway

i really loved the roses and that it was very obviously glam when a lot of the other 'slebs went for understated black dresses (small yawn)
Becky says:
Totally seconding the yawn.. Everyone's saying it was a super subdued safe Oscars and I think every critique I've read so far has longed for Cher or a swan dress. Personally, I only respond to red carpet outfits that could be conceivably used in drag acts
Tor says:
there was lots of 'nice' and 'pretty' but no wow
Becky says:
Chic is for LOSERS. Plus, I thought Hathaway was too reminiscent of Kate Winslet Ben de Lisi dress of a few years ago.

Tor says
it so is!!!! why would you look understated when you have access to huge diamonds and puffball?
Becky says:
It sickens me.
Tor says:
The ben de lisi thing makes me find it more substandard- i've been od'ing on project catwalk this week and slowly growing to hate him
Becky says:
He's a shrieking fashion ferret
Tor says:
haha! And thats so far from good!!! There were lots of well dressed pregnancies this year. Cate Blanchett wore 'the bump' well i thought?

Becky says:
She's so famous for her risk-taking and I was just, well, underwhelmed. I love the chunked up neckline but that's about it.
Tor says:
yeah there were no risks taken by anyone this year
Becky says:
I reckon if you're pregnant there's very little option other than going 'tits ahoy'. Like Catherine Zeta Jones in 2002

Tor says:
hmmm, that was too much bosom even for me!!!
Becky says:
#1 You LOVE it. #2 Everything's so tasteful. I want to see puffy nipples on the red carpet! Feathers and puffy nipples!
Tor says:
those killer heels teamed with the enormous bump cant have been comfortable
Becky says:
They're Loubotons too. The patented feet shredders
Tor says:
on gmtv yesterday they said that a lot of 'slebs have collagen fillers in their feet so they can't feel the pain and they can stand on them longer!?
Becky says:
That's going to lead to a spate of ballerina style deformo toes

Tor says:
yup. i've never believed in the whole beauty=pain thing
Becky says:
Plus, you're a baby
Tor says:
yup, no pain, no pain. thats all!
[...]
Becky says:
My favourite dress was actually worn by a teeny tiny celebrity of no real standing - Lydia Hearst.

Tor says:
wow that;s gorgeous! like a ballerina mated with a chiffon peacock
Becky says:
And then a open passion fruit....It's quite vagina-ry. In a good way.
Tor says:
I didnt think of that until you just said it!
Becky says:
Sure sure. I also like this one on Saoirse Ronan: because it was simple but with omigod COLOUR.

Tor says:
you know i hate lace and that particular lace looks cheap, and cheaply applied
Becky says:
Prada spits on your hate
Tor says:
The colour is nice but the dress is bleurgh. Prada can keep their lace and their saliva!
Becky says:
You'll love it in six months time. I'm starting your shock therapy tomorrow.
Tor says:
it looks cheap to me on the catwalk...can you imagine what it will look like when the highstreet do it???
Becky says:
Fair point. Nothing worse then the sweatiness of cheap lace. Maybe I'll cheer you up with Marion Cotillard.

I love this picture. Mostly because I want Forrest Whitaker to hug me.

Tor Says

Oooh! Scaley!!
Becky says:
Totes. Jean Paul Gaultier no less. He's not worn so much on awards nights. I also want to give a shout-out to that su-poib eye make-up and her general Frenchiness

Click for awesome hi-res details

Tor says:
I just can't decide if i like it or not it looks stunning on her though!!
Becky says:
They shoulda greased her hair down like they did on the catwalk. Woulda been ace,
Tor says:
like the jewellery. lots of chains is a-ok by me!
Becky says:
I like the fact I can see slight nicotine stains on her teeth. What do you think of Tilda Swinton?
Tor says:
She scares me
Becky says:
Don't say that. That's what she wants. Everyone was going on about her brave choice to not wearing make-up but she's clearly wearing liner and gloss at the very least
Tor says:
the dress was not a good choice for her pale skin and tiny body
Becky says:
Again, I wish she'd gone all-out. Though she's famous for wearing Viktor and Rolf and they're a little bit too Kwazy Klown for the Oscars. Her dress is Lanvin you know. I researched this. Praise me.
Tor says:
You are wonderful! An oscar nerd of the highest order. Geek!
Becky:
Mean! What do you think about Mrs MacAvoy aka Ann Marie Duff?

Tor says:
Its nice but like something we mere mortals would wear. You could buy that on the highstreet
Becky says:
I was gonna say it's a bit Warehouse-y (note to foreign readers. Warehouse is a mid-priced high street chain, comparable to something like Express in the US). But I'm desperate for pigment here
Tor says:
haha! you're clutching at straws!
Becky says:
Shuttup! It's not my fault this year hit the snooze button! Speaking of 'mortals like us' how about Ellen Page?

Tor says:
Oh look another black straigh up and down dress. blah blah blah!!!
Becky says:
But it's almost frumpy! I LOVE it! She doesn't give a shit! I find that awesomely endearing
Tor says:
Thats soo not a good thing!
Becky says:
Nooo! It's the best!
Tor says:
its oscars night! they should all give a shit otherwise whats the point??
Becky says:
They all give too much of a shit and that's the problem - they're terrified little bunnies all decked out in indistinguishable chiffon dresses. Ellen Page's dress is part of her 'dress-down' non-Hollywood aesthetic. And I like her flapper pearls
Tor says:
blah! i have those in like 3 different colours! from primark!!!!
Becky says:
I think it's unprententious and pretty. I hate it when 18-21 year old girls dress like 33 year old screen sirens
Tor says:
I like screen sirens: old school hollywood glamour, big skirts and lots of make up
Becky says:
But it looks so pre-packaged and fake on an 18 year old

I'm talking to you, Miley Cyrus

Becky says:
I like a tiny hint of madness.
Tor says:
yeah i see your point
Becky says:
All true Hollywood divas have something a little crazed about them.
Tor says:
i think maybe i'm just bitter....the whole ceremony this year left me yawning
Becky says:
I've got 2 more things to show you.
Tor says:
How exciting!

Tor says:
i loved this picture when i saw it on the night!
Becky says:
I tricked you into menswear!
Tor says:
so quirky and slightly adorable! i'm not against menwear
Becky says:
Say what you like about Spike Lee (egomaniac, occasional genius)- dude knows how to dress. Wesley ain't so shabby neither. I loved it that during the ceremony Jon Stewart made mention of Barack Obama and the camera automatically cut to Spike. He's Hollywood's designated black man!

Tor says:
ahhha nother well documents shoe fiaso. people made such a fuss about those brown shoes!
Becky says:
I am OBSESSED with Daniel Day Lewis and Rebecca Miller. The brown shoes are fucking gold
Tor says:
Now thats an interesting dress!!!
Becky says:
I know. She doesn't give a shit either!
Tor says:
they both did "alternative" shoes. maybe its a 'thing'?
Becky says:
Lace, bows and stripes....pile it on - she loves it
Tor says:
and rosettes! dont forget the rosettes!
Becky says:
I'm all for people just going for it and wearing something that makes them happy.
Tor says:
thats what makes the most interesting outfits! a bit of personality shining through
Becky says:
It's like they're dressing for an Arts Professors' formal.
hahaha! It so is!
Becky says:
And here's our special girl:

Amy Adams - love her.
Tor says:
I love her too
Becky says:
Proenza Schouler and their trademark frog-eye bustline
Tor says:
although i was disapointed her dress didnt look more like it had been homemade from a curtain!
Becky says:
I know. But check her little purse and dolly combo!

Tor says
I have a vintage purse like that! so extra credits given!!!
Becky says:
So noted. I also love looking at the civilians in the non-celebrity queue.
Tor says:
i was enjoying a lot of the celebrities mums. oh and did you see michael moores wife? like an 80s prom dress, but i strangely enjoyed it!

It has a certain 'doing it my way' charm
Becky says:
Yup, I can get behind that totally. So, Who's in your top 3?
Tor says:
argh! its too much!!!
Becky says:
Do it! Do it for the blogosphere! They crave lists!
Tor says:
diablo cody, penelope cruz and vanessa paradis

Tor says: What about yours?
Becky says:
Hmmm. Lydia Hearst (vagina dress), Kristin Chenoweth (my beloved Broadway diva.) and probably, boringly, Marion Cotillard

So, there you have it. Our useless opinions, one day from extinction. We had fun. I hope you did too. Spelling errors notwithstanding.

Your pal,
Becky.



Picture credits: Sinful_Caeser @ Livejournal, Just Jared, New York Times, Internet Movie Database and random googling.

Wardrobe Weekly #1

Becky often says that she could shop faster and more efficiently for me than I could for myself. Such is her confidence in knowing my style. And she's probably right: when we hit the shops (which is often) she always picks out things for me that are exactly what i'm looking for.

This can mean only two things. Firstly, that Becky is a genuis (which is true) and has a future career path mapped out in front of her as a stylist extraordinaire. Secondly, that the way I dress is at best formulaic and at worst, pretty predictable.

With this in mind, I'm not sure how exciting this newest addition to the site is going to be (But i'm going to give it a go anyway, so let me know what you think!) I've badly photographed my outfits from the past week for your viewing pleasure. The idea is to showcase my 'personal style' (for what it's worth!) and highlight how my changing moods affect my wardrobe decisions (apparently!) Becky will be doing something similar for compare and contrast fun!

Here goes:

Monday

Tuesday

Ever have those days where its cold and on/off miserable but you just can't bring yourself to wear a coat...again!? Well Tuesday was one of those days! The overall look is black (which by now shouldn't come as a surprise!) and conservative, because Tuesdays are work days, but a little bit scruffy and a little bit hippie. Because I was just in one of those moods!

Tiered floral dress, Oasis. Long black cardi, Primark. Sunglasses, Accessorize. Bracelet,Car boot sale. Patchwork bag, Dorothy Perkins. Black scarf, stolen from my sister.

Wednesday

Today's outfit is, I admit, not one of my best. Wednesday is the only day that i don't have either work or uni, and although I probably should've tackled some reading I decided to veg out, only leaving the house to pop for a loaf of bread.

Becky's Topshop Adventure - Part Deux

Hello blogosphere,

Here, with tiny fanfare, is part deux of my Topshop diffusion line experiment. You'll note the use of French 'deux' to amp up the classiness: we're going to need all the classiness we can lay our hand on, lemme tell ya. Lot of unslightly flesh is going to hit your screen on the scroll down. It's a shame really because there really were some amazing pieces in amongst the cellulite display items.First off, let us examine Marios Schwab. There's been a lot of buzz on the blogs about his A/W 2008 collection just shown at London Fashion week because as usual it was uncommonly ace. I have to admit I'm fairly unimpressed with the overall tone of the fashion weeks thus far (New York in particular was too beige to bother about) as the overall mood seems curiously muted and curiously joyless. Not so of Schwab who used Charlotte Perkins Gilman's classic short story The Yellow Wallpaper as the chief inspiration for his collection.

First off, let us examine Marios Schwab. There's been a lot of buzz on the blogs about his A/W 2008 collection just shown at London Fashion week because as usual it was uncommonly ace. I have to admit I'm fairly unimpressed with the overall tone of the fashion weeks thus far (New York in particular was too beige to bother about) as the overall mood seems curiously muted and curiously joyless. Not so of Schwab who used Charlotte Perkins Gilman's classic short story The Yellow Wallpaper as the chief inspiration for his collection.

My three favourite looks from the collection. Background text from The Yellow Wallpaper.

If I were a proto-feminist, locked in her bedroom going loopy at the decor, I'd want to be wearing one of these outfits. The story's all about the imprisonment of Victorian patriarchy, repressed sexuality, decay and madness and these outfits really do communicate something of the story. I'm really interested in the idea of a woman in 2008 choosing to imprison herself in clothes that physically restrict her (apparently the draping was so tight that some models could only hobble up the catwalk). They're sexy dresses in modern cuts and though the lycra seems to be laying waste to the rotting brocade 'wallpaper' fabric, I'm not sure what Schwab's trying to say: can bondage ever be an empowering choice? Is the wallpaper rotting away because we're beyond the strict patriarchy it represents or hanging on each garment because we can never entirely escape it? I'm not sure and you should make up your own mind: click here to read The Yellow Wallpaper - you won't be sorry.

Marios Schwab - Topshop (£75)

Nothing like a strapless skater dress to bring out the preening gormless modelface in a girl. I adored this outfit and felt enormously sexy. It was barely even a concern that the stiffness and cut of the fabric meant that I couldn't raise my arms beyond what you see in the pictures. This is certainly not a garment to wear whilst shelf stacking but it does continue the pairing of Marios Schwab and self-imposed bondage. It wasn't an uncomfortable garment, just a deeply impractical one. I felt beautiful but like I was meant for A Doll's House. Lucky for me I'm too poor to even think of purchasing it so I can leave the post-feminist dilemma for women in higher pay brackets. Problem solved.

Wrap shirt (£65)

Love the colour and theory but hate the practice. Way too transparent to wear without a vest and not clinging enough to be flattering. I much prefer the way I styled it below.

Clasp Dress (£100)

Another gorgeous idea and an execution that just doesn't work for me. I found it impossible to get into this dress without a steady-handed other to do up the teeny little side buttons which is why it looks so ill-fitted. The awesome clasp idea sorta fails because the elastic causes all the plastic clasps to kind of twist and collapse into the small of the back.

Ladeez & Gents, let's have a warm welcome back to our old friend the panty-line!
Yeesh.

So: a lot of admiration for the ideas in the Topshop collection and big love for the mainline, but I just can't get behind paying upwards of £70 for a hint of bondage and a heap o' knickerlines.


Tailoring - Richard Nicholls and Todd Lynn

I'm a little nervous about my Todd Lynn jacket pics, chiefly because Queen Michelle of Kingdom of Style has already modelled hers and frankly I'm not nearly as Irina Lazareau hot as she is. Still, if you'll ignore my bug-eyed office vibe:

Todd Lynn Tuxedo Jacket (£85)

My grandad liked this picture. That's all the validation I need.

Richard Nicholl ruffle dress

Not a lot to say, except maybe underwhelming, or dear god, can't Topshop see its way to providing a fucking slip with their hundred quid dresses? It's cute but it's £15 cute, not £85.

Horrifying Trousers o' doom (£65)

These buggers were size 14 (the largest available) and didn't have a hope in hell of fastening around me. I know I'm hardly a string bean but it's a little crushing to know that I'm too large for the largest size available in the diffusion line. Lucky for me they were the epitome of PVC lined hideousness so I didn't mind too much. I'm too busy enjoying my Petit Bateau bobble scarf.

Wigmore modelling Richard Nicholls, gut.

The horror. The horror.

You think that's the worst picture you're gonna see? Oh, sweet naive blogosphere, we haven't even got to the skintight knitwear yet.....

Louise Goldin
Let me just say in my defense that this dress was a Medium which I assume is an 8-10. I knew it would look awful but I loved it so in the magazine and wanted first-hand footage of the feel of the dress, so I bit my lip down to the viscera and tried it on.

Icicle Dress (£95)

I am well aware of my resemblence to a tubby extra in a Esther Williams movie. This caused my family much hilarity when I showed them. I am never visiting those people again. Let's hit it from the si-ide:

Ow! Turn it around, girl!

Yowzah!

I tried on this next dress almost solely because of its awesome name

Alien Prom Queen Dress (£95)

This dress is a Large, hence the better (but by no means ideal) fit. The reason I look so happy is that I'm about to lay my eggs in my date's chest cavity.

Equally unflattering on the sides and bum but at least I feel spiritually closer to Natasha Henstridge.

Ah, to French kiss a man and shatter the back of his skull. I do so love fashion.

Well, blogosphere, that’s it. This is by no means the entire range but I tried to give you an overview and at least three different facial expressions. I hope you enjoyed yourself. I’m going to sit and rock myself into a shame spiral until 8pm when me and Tor will conduct an intellectual discussion on this year's Oscar fashions. I will document said discussion on this very blog. *sigh* I miss Cher so much.

I’m off for a minty tea – see you in an hour.

Becky.

Becky's Topshop Adventure Part Deux

Hello blogosphere,

Here, with tiny fanfare, is part deux of my Topshop diffusion line experiment. You'll note the use of French 'deux' to amp up the classiness: we're going to need all the classiness we can lay our hand on, lemme tell ya. Lot of unslightly flesh is going to hit your screen on the scroll down. It's a shame really because there really were some amazing pieces in amongst the cellulite display items.

First off, let us examine Marios Schwab. There's been a lot of buzz on the blogs about his A/W 2008 collection just shown at London Fashion week because as usual it was uncommonly ace. I have to admit I'm fairly unimpressed with the overall tone of the fashion weeks thus far (New York in particular was too beige to bother about) as the overall mood seems curiously muted and curiously joyless. Not so of Schwab who used Charlotte Perkins Gilman's classic short story The Yellow Wallpaper as the chief inspiration for his collection.

My three favourite looks from the collection. Background text from The Yellow Wallpaper.

If I were a proto-feminist, locked in her bedroom going loopy at the decor, I'd want to be wearing one of these outfits. The story's all about the imprisonment of Victorian patriarchy, repressed sexuality, decay and madness and these outfits really do communicate something of the story. I'm really interested in the idea of a woman in 2008 choosing to imprison herself in clothes that physically restrict her (apparently the draping was so tight that some models could only hobble up the catwalk). They're sexy dresses in modern cuts and though the lycra seems to be laying waste to the rotting brocade 'wallpaper' fabric, I'm not sure what Schwab's trying to say: can bondage ever be an empowering choice? Is the wallpaper rotting away because we're beyond the strict patriarchy it represents or hanging on each garment because we can never entirely escape it? I'm not sure and you should make up your own mind: click here to read The Yellow Wallpaper - you won't be sorry.

Marios Schwab - Topshop (£75)

Nothing like a strapless skater dress to bring out the preening gormless modelface in a girl. I adored this outfit and felt enormously sexy. It was barely even a concern that the stiffness and cut of the fabric meant that I couldn't raise my arms beyond what you see in the pictures. This is certainly not a garment to wear whilst shelf stacking but it does continue the pairing of Marios Schwab and self-imposed bondage. It wasn't an uncomfortable garment, just a deeply impractical one. I felt beautiful but like I was meant for A Doll's House. Lucky for me I'm too poor to even think of purchasing it so I can leave the post-feminist dilemma for women in higher pay brackets. Problem solved.

Wrap shirt (£65)

Love the colour and theory but hate the practice. Way too transparent to wear without a vest and not clinging enough to be flattering. I much prefer the way I styled it below.

Clasp Dress (£100)

Another gorgeous idea and an execution that just doesn't work for me. I found it impossible to get into this dress without a steady-handed other to do up the teeny little side buttons which is why it looks so ill-fitted. The awesome clasp idea sorta fails because the elastic causes all the plastic clasps to kind of twist and collapse into the small of the back.

Ladeez & Gents, let's have a warm welcome back to our old friend the panty-line!
Yeesh.

So: a lot of admiration for the ideas in the Topshop collection and big love for the mainline, but I just can't get behind paying upwards of £70 for a hint of bondage and a heap o' knickerlines.


Tailoring - Richard Nicholls and Todd Lynn

I'm a little nervous about my Todd Lynn jacket pics, chiefly because Queen Michelle of Kingdom of Style has already modelled hers and frankly I'm not nearly as Irina Lazareau hot as she is. Still, if you'll ignore my bug-eyed office vibe:

Todd Lynn Tuxedo Jacket (£85)

My grandad liked this picture. That's all the validation I need.



Richard Nicholl ruffle dress

Not a lot to say, except maybe underwhelming, or dear god, can't Topshop see its way to providing a fucking slip with their hundred quid dresses? It's cute but it's £15 cute, not £85.

Horrifying Trousers o' doom (£65)

These buggers were size 14 (the largest available) and didn't have a hope in hell of fastening around me. I know I'm hardly a string bean but it's a little crushing to know that I'm too large for the largest size available in the diffusion line. Lucky for me they were the epitome of PVC lined hideousness so I didn't mind too much. I'm too busy enjoying my Petit Bateau bobble scarf.

Wigmore modelling Richard Nicholls, gut.

The horror. The horror.

You think that's the worst picture you're gonna see? Oh, sweet naive blogosphere, we haven't even got to the skintight knitwear yet.....

Louise Goldin
Let me just say in my defense that this dress was a Medium which I assume is an 8-10. I knew it would look awful but I loved it so in the magazine and wanted first-hand footage of the feel of the dress, so I bit my lip down to the viscera and tried it on.

Icicle Dress (£95)

I am well aware of my resemblence to a tubby extra in a Esther Williams movie. This caused my family much hilarity when I showed them. I am never visiting those people again. Let's hit it from the si-ide:

Bring it on to the back:

Yowzah!

Alien Prom Queen Dress (£95)

This dress is a Large, hence the better (but by no means ideal) fit. The reason I look so happy is that I'm about to lay my eggs in my date's chest cavity.